We hope your wedding planning experience is like a scene from The Wedding Planner with Jennifer Lopez...well minus the whole calling off the wedding part and the groom ending up with JLO. Should have said spoiler alert there! Depending on your personality and your tolerance for dealing with the most minute details, wedding planning might feel like your one true calling or a series of unfortunate events. But enough with the movie references, let's get down to the details.
Situation #1: A guest RSVPs an additional person who was not on the invited guest list.
You go to the mailbox or open up your wedding website and see an RSVP for your wedding. Exciting, right? Another loving family member or dear friend confirmed to come celebrate your big day and dance the night away. But then you see it, staring back at you, taunting you, causing you unnecessary wedding stress - how could they? A name you certainly didn't include on the invitation has made its way onto the RSVP, along with an invited guest. Well, now what?
The best thing to do in this instance is to rip off the band-aid and immediately address the situation. Don't let it linger and let time pass where the guest may book travel, buy an outfit or any other situation that may contribute to the difficulty in addressing the matter at hand. Ask yourself, what is the reason this additional individual is not invited? Venue size constraints? Budgetary reasons? Adults-only wedding? Be straightforward and honest with the guest about the situation. Most people will understand and while it might be a little uncomfortable, you probably have a good reason for your request to keep it to just that invited guest. Having this conversation by phone is the ideal choice, but if you can't bear the thought of this, then a friendly text or email will suffice. Try something like:
"I am reaching out because I think there has been a miscommunication I wanted to clear up with you regarding your RSVP to our wedding. Unfortunately due to (state the issue), we aren't able to accommodate an additional guest. I'm sorry for the miscommunication and that we can't extend this extra invitation. I hope you understand."
Final Thought: It's best not to tell a white lie or invent an elaborate story. Your guests might see through this or even worse, might try to negotiate with you about bringing the invited guest anyway. Just embrace the awkward moment one time, rather than dealing with a possible repeat uncomfortable situation.
Situation #2: Navigating the inevitable who pays for what conversation with your significant other, your parents or your soon-to-be in-laws.
Developing good money management skills and learning to navigate financial conversations is a good trial run for your future marriage. Did you know that financial disagreements lead to about 36% of the divorces that take place in the United States? It's safe to say that emotions run high when it comes to money. Whether your family is paying for a large chunk of your wedding or nothing at all, it is important to be prepared to have these conversations with your future spouse at the very least.
The best place to start is by having a candid conversation with your significant other about expectations and who may be contributing to the cost of the wedding. After you have laid the groundwork, you can then dive deeper into budgeting or determining who might pay for what expense. From there, it's often smoothest for each individual to reach out to their own parents or other family members who may be participating in the cost to broach the subject. Plan a time to have this conversation and consider starting the discussion with what you and your significant other intend to cover, and perhaps some examples of things that you could use their help contributing to financially. Some families opt to go very traditional with who pays for what and some couples cover the full cost of their wedding with no financial help at all. Each situation is different, but starting with a conversation with your significant other is the first step.
Final Thought: If parents or family members are involved in covering some of the costs for your wedding, be prepared to compromise. Ah, the art of compromise, another skill you'll use in marriage. It's important to be respectful of everyone's opinion and budget, while also keeping your own needs in perspective. Sometimes bringing in family members to cover the cost of some expenses comes with strings attached. Maybe you want an intimate boho wedding with 50 of your closest friends and family but your mother-in-law wants a traditional ceremony and to invite all of her distant relatives, her neighbor and the lady she met at the grocery store last week. Set boundaries and limits with family members who may begin to tread into overbearing territory.
Situation #3: Trying to negotiate with vendors and asking for discounts to stay within your wedding budget.
The average wedding in Texas costs somewhere around $30,000. Many factors go into this cost including location, venue, guest count, style of wedding and food served, just to name a few of the considerations. When you get into wedding planning, one of the most important first steps is to begin considering your budget. There are many great tools available to do research on venues and vendors in your area to get a feel for your options and begin determining how best to allocate your funds.
One of the vendors that you should consider early in your wedding planning is hiring a wedding planner. Wedding planners typically have a variety of options from full-service, to partial planning, to day-of coordination. Even if you are not considering hiring a full wedding planner, securing a day-of coordinator early in your planning could be a helpful tool. At Happily Ever Houston Events, we have relationships with other vendors and can provide recommendations for high quality professionals to be on your wedding team. From venues to photographers to florists, we've got you covered with vendors who are reliable and will provide high quality services. For our couples who opt to go with either our partial or full-service planning packages, special discounts become available for many of these vendors too.
At Happily Ever Houston Events we make your wedding dreams a reality while you keep your beauty sleep. We help plan unforgettable experiences for all of life's happily ever after events and can't wait to be part of your wedding planning journey and your big day!